The Judge wasn't always wise. In fact, he was the worst impulse buyer. Legend has it he once bought a $3,000 zero-gravity massage chair at 2 AM because a pop-up ad told him he "deserved to float." He did not float. The chair is now the world's most expensive laundry rack.

He filled three storage units with "revolutionary" kitchen gadgets, most used exactly once and some never even been opened. His Amazon delivery driver knew him by first name. They had a secret handshake.

Then one day, he woke up in a pile of unopened packages, credit card maxed, surrounded by four identical air fryers (he forgot he already owned three), and had an epiphany: "If I can't save myself, I'll save everyone else."

Now he channels his shame into YOUR shame. He judges because he understands. He roasts because he cares. Every time he stops you from buying a $400 pizza oven, a small part of his soul heals.

Simple! When you click a "Buy Now" or "Add to Cart" button on any shopping site, The Impulse Judge swoops in with a witty roast about your life choices. To proceed with the purchase, you have to type out the entire roast manually. No copy-paste allowed. It's basically a speed bump for your wallet.

Absolutely nothing. Zero. Nada. $0.00. Unlike the items in your cart, this extension is completely free. No premium version, no subscriptions, no "unlock more roasts for $4.99." If you love it and want to say thanks, there's a Buy Me a Coffee link, but that's totally optional. Ironic that you'd spend money on an anti-spending tool, isn't it?

Nope. We don't have a database. We literally cannot see what you're buying, where you're shopping, or how much you're spending. All your stats stay on YOUR device. We're too busy judging our own shopping habits to spy on yours. Check our Privacy Policy if you don't believe us.

Probably! The Impulse Judge works on most shopping sites: Amazon, eBay, Walmart, Etsy, Shopify stores, random boutiques, that sketchy site your friend shared... If it has a buy button, we'll find it. We're like button-detecting bloodhounds, but for your financial wellbeing.

Yes! We're judgmental, not controlling. You can whitelist or blacklist specific sites in the settings. Maybe you actually need groceries (fine, we'll look the other way) but definitely don't need another keyboard (we're watching you).

We figured if games can get you addicted to fake rewards, we can get you addicted to saving money. There are 20 achievements to unlock, from your first resist to saving $1,000 to resisting at 3 AM. It's gamification, but for your bank account. Your dopamine hits now come from NOT buying things. You're welcome.

The extension? No. Mobile browsers are too cowardly to let us intervene in your Amazon app. You are currently defenseless against "One-Click Buy" while on the toilet.

The website? Yes. You can (and should) use our Free Therapy tools and the Savings Calculator right here on your phone. You can also download your Sobriety Certificate or read the Blog (if you're boring). Just don't switch tabs and buy something.

We have over 200 roasts, and we think we're hilarious. You might laugh, you might cry, you might question your entire existence while holding a credit card. That's the point. The roasts range from gentle nudges to existential crises depending on the situation.

For the ideas and roasts? No. We don't need a billion-dollar neural network to tell you that buying a kayak at 3 AM is not a smart investment. Sending your data to a server is slow and creepy, so our roasts are 100% organic, locally-sourced, gluten-free and run entirely on your device.

For the code? Absolutely. We run a digital sweatshop where the only employee is a chatbot we call "Liability". He works 24/7 and I pay him in insults and electricity. It is the most efficient business model in history. Any bugs you find are just his silent cries for help. Ignore them.

We leverage AI (Aggressive Insults) and ML (Mean Logic) to facilitate a paradigm shift in your spending habits.

Currently, The Impulse Judge roasts exclusively in English. We're thinking about adding translations so we can judge your spending habits in multiple languages. Because financial shame is universal, and we believe everyone deserves to be roasted in their mother tongue. Stay tuned.

Ah yes, the ancient art of in-person impulse buying. We're actively developing Physical Barriers, a revolutionary system involving a tiny judgmental voice in your ear, strategically placed speed bumps near sale racks, and a trained parrot that screams "DO YOU REALLY NEED THAT?" Results may include social embarrassment and significantly improved savings. Stay tuned.

So many things! More roasts (because 200+ just isn't enough judgment), more website support (looking at you, obscure European electronics stores), more features, and more browsers. We're also adding more achievements, more customization options, and possibly a "Roast Intensity" slider for when you really need tough love. The goal? Make impulse buying so annoying that saving money becomes the path of least resistance. Capitalism doesn't stand a chance.